Under the Moonlight - Part Two

Now that you knew what had been going on,
All the lies, as I made love to you every night on the phone,
All the promises, of how much love we would make.
But you were here now, and all we had was tension.

Tension that was so strong, I didn’t want to make the first move.
It was your call, because the truth is, I wasn’t man enough.
I wasn’t man enough to realise that you had made a mistake,
A mistake that would cost us so much.

Bitterness, resentment, hatred, was what you were feeling,
Those were the feelings that were bleeding through your heart,
But most of all, the one feeling that outweighed everything else,
That made you cold inside, deep within, was loneliness.

I didn’t see it. How could I? I was still filled with the rage of argument,
And for days I treated you worse than the crack-heads at the back of Kennedy’s Liquor,
Like I didn't know you. No joy, love, or relief, just loneliness.
A heartbreaking comparison to when you first arrived to my little island.

But you had brought back these emotions to the forefront of my mind and heart,
The emotions of hurt, despair, and pain that I had worked so hard to suppress.

I was going to show you how much pain I had endured,
How much pain I had felt that moment when you told me,
Your infidelity, your callous disregard for the sanctity of our new-born relationship,
You let my love build for you, and so too did yours,

But you concealed your mistake until it was too late.
Too late for me to say I will love you and leave you.
I couldn't leave you now, not after all the walks in the park,
The conversations 'till four in the morning, my love was too strong,

And it made me weak. And even though you had done this,
I wouldn't let my relationship fail. I had to find a way to release,
And release I did, with anyone I fancied.
I destroyed our relationship, to save my sanity.

But you were determined to fight back for me,
And as I lay alone in my room, reminiscing, the cool evening air blew calmly in,
As if we hadn’t fought that day, You came in wearing only a towel,
I knew what was on your mind.....

◄ END OF PART TWO ►
For part one click here

All That Is - A Poem by Mario Wade

Something whispers in my ear,

Obscene thoughts of grandeur clear.

Fear so deep its smell, sublimes.

Watching as it all unwinds.

I loathe your beauty, charm and grace,

Hoping that they dissipate.

It forms a thought, my disturbed mind.

All that is, is was; in time

 Far too long have I waited,

Grievous change anticipated.

Gawking listlessly as I,

Try my best to realize.

Ominous as it may seem,

It’s too real to be a dream.

 Now and then I’ve come to see,

All that is, and was; will be.

.

So serene, yet contoured,

Desperately drawn when allured.

Obvious to the naked eye,

“Now its time to say goodbye!”

Flaunt my last and hold my own,

For all my sins, I must atone.

I calculate and so I find,

All that is; was never mine.

by Mario Wade

Diary of an Insomniac - A Poem

I daydream of what it would be like,
Sleeping next to you,

Turning over my pillow countless times,
Trying to get the ever elusive cooler side.

You seem so content in your sleep,
But I lie awake watching.

The sheets, I need them off, they're too hot,
But I need to be next to you so I get back under.

And those sheep? They're useless, I've counted dozens,
My naughty mind prefers more exciting reflections,

As I wrap my legs between yours,
And I listen to your soothing breathing.

But I try to disperse my thoughts, overdue reports,
Family issues, what do I do for work? and the like,

Peaceful thoughts of relaxation tempt me,
As I turn my pillow over, just one more time.

Under the Moonlight

As you arrived, I watched your body step off of theVirgin-Atlantic flight,

You were radiant. Smooth dark skin, smiling, anticipating our embrace.

It was over two months that we were apart,

But now you were here.

Usually the heat of the day is almost unbearable,

But I stood in the sun watching you walk over the tarmac,

Above the tainted pink walls of the VC Bird International airport,

As you chatted away with a fellow passenger,

Probably about how long since you've seen me.

I waved as youpassed, and you didn't see me at first,

It was your acquaintance who pointed out the sole person above.

I could see the emotions plainly in your face as you looked up to see,

Joy, love, relief…the anxiety of waiting for that long awaited embrace.

I did not feel the same though, as you would later find out, but I smiled.

I missed you.

You ran to greet me once you had cleared immigration,

It felt so good, to be in your arms once again, and the kiss...

We shared a kiss filled with so much passion; and I gave you my usual squeeze,

But the kiss gave it away. You knew something was wrong but you let it go.

One, two, three days passed, and you began to search. You wanted an answer.

Why have you flown over 6000 miles to this little island?

For the love of your life, for the man who once made you feel so secure,

Who held you at night and kissed you every morning.

He loved you so dearly, that’s why you came. But he wasn't the same man.

You searched and searched and searched,

Something just wasn't right and you had to know.

Emails, instant messages, phone records.

It was all too much to bear.

You had to confront me.

And then we fought. We fought like the Carib tribes,

Defending their homes from the mighty English, Spanish and French, we fought.

I fought, as you begged for reasoning, why did I do this to our relationship you asked?

As I began to speak you cried,

Because all I could do was finally tell you how much it hurt.

I hated you for what you had done to me,

Though I would have kept it from you, you confronted me,

You gave me no choice but to tell you exactly how I felt,

And I hated you for that, because I never wanted to hurt you.

I told you how much it hurt me,

To know that you had been with someone else,

How much it hurt, though it was only once,

When our relationship was in its infancy,

It hurt as though we were together for years!

But you were the one I chose to be with,

How could you do that to me?

And now I was doing the same to you,

I wasn’t the same man that left you in cold London that day,

Promising to come back for you when I could.

I was an Antiguan man, a Caribbean man, a free man.

◄ END OF PART ONE ►

Tian Winter - Crash (Official Video)

One of my favourite artists out of Antigua! I remember Tian when he was packing bag in Brysons supermarket!  This boy could always sing and I'm happy he is making such a name for himself.  This song has a catchy melody mainly due to the sample of Marvin Gaye's - "Sexual Healing" which gives it that familiar feeling like you already know it. Tian remixes it with his own style and great lyrics.

I hope Tian continues to grow and make good music and represents Antigua to the fullest. I know his heart is in the right place and his love for Antigua shows in everything that he does. Gwaan Tian you large!

She turned and smiled at me - Song Lyrics

When I turned to look, I could see it her eyes,

The way she wanted me, like she wanted, no other guy,

She flaunted and she taunted 'cause she knew what she wanted,

And it was haunting, but the way she did her thing kept me on cloud nine.

I must have died, made my trip up to the sky,

'cause in my mind I was saying, baby would you be mine?

I couldn't help myself, I didn't wanna be all alone,

I wanted to be making jump shots in your net, like Carl Malone

But I couldn't understand, why didn't you want to love me?

Could it be that I was way down on your line, and there was someone else above me?

Confront me! 'cause woman I need to know!

Your making it so hard! I can't decide whether to go!

And I almost got you, and it was so degrading,

Everyday to watch you pass, knowing you weren't my baby?

Baby I'm a man of my words and I'll never let you down,

The fate of our love is my concern, that's why I turned around.

Just some Antiguan slang...

King....king.....king....king.....BOSS!!! (>_<) lol

Beautiful - A Poem

Beautiful eyes, Beautiful lips, Beautiful nose,

Beautiful thighs, Beautiful hips, Beautiful pose.

Beautiful smile, Beautiful dress, Beautiful clothes,

Beautiful hair, Beautiful skin, Beautiful toes.

Beautiful arms, Beautiful legs you know I suppose.
But it don't matter without Beautiful mind, Beautiful heart, Beautiful soul.

5th November 2009

Updated 17th April 2015

One for the new year....

Its 2012.

What do I do now?

Need to find a job.

Really would like to start my own business....

But I'm not ready.

Need to get a car....

But I'm not ready.

How do I get to where I'm going this year without falling off.....

No idea.

Just have to keep moving forward.....

Inside of a Woman - A Poem

When you are inside of a woman,
especially a black woman,
the feeling is unexplainable.
When she surrounds you, as if to protect you,
with her soft and sweet love,
keeping you warm when you are cold,
touching you, passionately,
because you and her are one,
your hearts beat together,
your thoughts are forever.
Longevity is sought when you are inside of a woman.
When you are inside of a woman,
you both know what is sure to come.
You both seek what you have been waiting for,
what has eluded you for so long.
But now that you are inside of a woman,
you will not let her go easily!
You will fight through the pain,
fight through harsh emotions of the past
to claim what is yours and yours alone.
For when you are inside of a woman,
you are closest to the most undeniable sensation,
of truth.
Truth that cannot be frowned upon,
only to those that do not know the truth and splendour,
of being inside of a woman.
The way that is was set out to be from the beginning.
I shall not stand by and let not a woman know me,
for I am her authority and she is my truth,
and I am strong when I stand erected in truth.
No one can deny me my truth.
No one can deny me of being inside of, my woman,
Heart, mind and soul. 


by
Ashton Hewlett Williams


22nd October 2009